Only in the mind of a young boy . . .

Back in the late fall, our family lost a loved one. It's probably one of the first 'real' losses that any of our children have gone through (or least one that there were old enough to understand). While we all knew that it was coming and were somewhat prepared for it (Aunt Dolly had been hospitalized for a year after an unfortunate accident - a year that had it's up and downs), it was still shocking when it DID happen. Imp, our middle child, took it the hardest.

To back peddle a wee bit, in the days leading up to Dolly's passing, Imp had made a picture for her. He wanted to go up to the hospital to deliver it to her (she was always so happy to see the young ones). I told him that I couldn't take him that night, and the next night we were busy, but I *PROMISED* (BIGGEST parenting mistake I've *EVER* made) that I would take him on Thursday.

But Thursday never arrived. On Wednesday evening, Dolly took a big turn, and quietly and quickly passed on.

The next morning, we told the kids (Dolly was well known by many in the community, and we were a little worried that someone might make a statement to them about it, so we wanted to prepare them). Immediately Imp stated that he wanted to go see her to give her his picture. When we told him that he couldn't, he got very teary eyed and walked off. He composed himself and solved his problem himself. He would put his picture in her coffin. His 14yo sister, innocently (or at least I'm choosing to believe it was an innocent comment) stated that he couldn't do that because she was being cremated. Can you see where this is going yet? Yeah . . . so he asked, "what is cremated".

"Burning".

The answer came SO fast, I didn't have time to intercept. Now, in teen's defense, how would you explain that to a 7yo child? Because the reality is, it IS burning.

Between the buzzing of toothbrushes and toothpaste filled mouths, I hear Imp ask in an ever so quiet voice, "with fire?". To which teen replies. "Yep. In an oven". "Oh" was his simple reply as he jumped off the stool and down the stairs. And that was that. Phew! Crisis avoided.

Or so I thought.

Banshee had a medical procedure that morning, and when I dropped her off at the school, I happened to run into Imp as he was on his way to the computer lab. He rushed into my arms and exploded into tears with a bazillion questions about Dolly being burned. Hoo boy.

Here I am, standing in front of the office with a group of parents, the secretary and a some of the EA's and teachers floating about, fielding an assault of questions about cremation. In the end, it wound up with me making statements such as:

"No Imp, your grandparents are NOT going to have to use a knife to cut up Aunt Dolly to make her fit in THEIR oven. I can assure you that she will NOT be cremated in their home oven"

"No Imp, you will NEVER have to eat anything out of your grandmother's roasting pan that Aunt Dolly was cremated in because she will NOT be cremated in their home or any of their cookware". (when he asked this question, his look was SO grave - almost like he was going to puke right there on the spot).

and the best . . .

"No buddy, they will NOT be tossing her like a log on a bonfire and although it DOES take a while for this process I can assure you that they are NOT roasting marshmallows or weenies over that fire while they wait".

Really?! That was intense. By the end of this exchange, I'm sweating like a pig. I finally explain to him that cremation is done in a special oven designed for this exact thing. That she isn't going to feel it and that it's what her wishes were. At that, he accepted my answers, and moved on.

PHEW!!!! When I looked up, EVERYONE there was trying not to laugh. In fact, some of those folks standing by had moved around the corner and were nearly in hysterical laughter over it. I was so spent from that conversation that I very quickly turned and walked out of the school. WOW. The questions were intense, and INCREDIBLY imaginative, but really, they're honest and typical 'boy' questions. Only a curious little boy would imagine all these scenarios.

I DO have to say . . . I'm glad I was done having babies before he was this age. Could you imagine how THAT explanation would have played out?! YIKES!!

The one thing that I DO need to point out is that at the end of all of this, this same little boy made a very grown up, mature and profound statement . . . a statement that touched right down into my entire core; a statement that made me realize just how wise and beyond his years my sweet little guy is. He said very simply "Now Dolly is with Billy again". Billy is Aunt Dolly and my mother-in-laws brother. He passed away when he was 7 or 8 years old. Imp very much resembled Billy, and Dolly always happily pointed that out, and during her last few months when we went to visit her, her eyes were ALWAYS fixed on Imp, intently watching his every move.

In the grand scheme of things . . . we've got a pretty smart and sensitive (and imaginative!) little boy.