Happy Valentines Day

Valentines Day.

It's one of those holidays that you either love. Or hate. I'm kind of on the 'hate' fence. In my opinion it's one of the MOST commercialized and phony 'holiday' days out there. C'mon, really?! It's a date on the calendar that reminds us to tell the ones we love that we love them by buying them an overpriced card, a box of candy that they definitely don't need or a bouquet of flowers that will send them into an allergic sneezing fit, and then out to an overpriced dinner at a busy restaurant with a bunch of horny teenagers (who must think that they're invisible as they grope one another. Call me crazy, but AS the mother of a teenaged girl, I can assure you that if any guy went all hands-on with MY kid the way I've seen some of them do, I'd totally go all Lorena Bobbit on him and Mother Dearest on her). Yeah, definitely not "my" thing. Then of course there's the "special" after-the-kids-go-to-bed gift that the male half anxiously awaits as repayment for the above mentioned weight gain, and sneezey-red-nosed face.

The reality is . . . I can (and do!) show that I love my loved ones on a daily basis. Well, maybe not the after-the-kids-go-to-bed gift on a daily basis . . . I have my limits and standards after all. Oh - and a teenaged kid that more often than not goes to bed AFTER we do. I definitely wouldn't want to be responsible for mentally scarring her for life. Or causing her to have to bleach her eyes and ears. Also, I should probably clarify that when I refer to "loved ONES", I only have ONE 'near and dear' (although he kinda-sorta pissed me off this weekend . . . but that's a whole 'nother post on it's own). I'm definitely not into polygamy and all that . . . ALTHOUGH . . . I *WOULD* love to have a wife to cook and clean for me . . .

BUT, I digress.

Back to Valentine's Day. I have children. And family and friends. And a card making ability that I LOVE to use. And the more commercialized a holiday, the more my children are into it. I find myself quickly sucked into the height of the commercialism of it all, feeding into the exact frenzy that I HATE about it all. Licensed cards for the kids classes (I could and would easily create some masterpieces for them, but they're all about the likes of Tangled. Or Star Wars); treat bags - complete with mini kaleidoscopes, stickers, koosh balls and candy (smarties and licorice), and cupcakes. Cupcakes iced with mounds of pink frosting and topped with red, pink and white jellybeans; and lots and lots of delightful sugar sprinkles (I've taught my kids well - go big or go home - and they definitely did with the sprinkles). Because you know how it is, every elementary school teacher looks forward to an afternoon of HIGHLY energetic and freaky kids on a MASSIVE sugar rush (and judging by the parade of tray-toting parents going in and out of that school this morning, I think it's safe to say that there's going to be one hell of a sugar high in the school in general).

Those near and dear to me know to expect a little treat in their mailboxes; some sort of crafty creation that I put together (that is the extent of MY efforts for Valentines Day). Have I ever mentioned that I love, love, LOVE creating cards?! And since this is MY space, I will shamelessly give myself a plug . . . I can make cards for ANY event that you need one for - just let me know!!

SO, Valentine's Day 2011. Like every other year, it's 'just' another day. Mostly. Aside from the fact that Teen brought me to tears this morning with a beautiful card (her and I butt heads often, so this REALLY meant a lot to me . . . probably WAY more than she even could comprehend). And the fact that I had to drive the kids; their treat bags; cards and cupcakes into school.

If you back peddle a bit, into the middle of the night, I woke at about midnight to my other half coughing and gurgling. He was struggling with acid reflux/heartburn (something that he suffers with often, but NEVER does anything about it. You know - like going to the doctor to get it checked out). I listened to him puking his guts out in the bathroom (and worrying. Or moreover waiting for him to hit the floor or something - it truly is horrific how much he suffers with this reflux stuff. I'm pretty certain it's not right), and when he was done, he came in, got his pillows and a blanket so he could head to the couch (he needs to basically sleep sitting up for the rest of the night after that). Although I'm truly worried about this puking thing he does, I did happily roll over to the middle of the queen sized bed, relieved, knowing that I'd dodged the middle of the night after-the-kids-have-gone-to-bed gift that I know he's looking for. Not that I'm opposed to this activity, it's just that at midnight, sleeping is the activity of choice for me. I happily drifted off to sleep, only to be woken about 15mins later by the pitter-patter of little feet. Banshee had heard her Daddy tossing his cookies, and was scared. She was vibrating with fear when she arrived in my bed. She curled up beside me and proceeded to toss and turn for hours. She finally fell asleep, and so did I, although I was awake numerous times (compliments of the octapus smacking me as she moved about the bed).

This morning, as I mentioned earlier in this post, Teen gave both her Dad and I each a card. It absolutely made my day. The younger kids each showered me with their handmade creations (which I've proudly posted and hung around the house). Later today, I have to make the trip to the school to pick up Imp. He has an out of town medical appointment - during a 'flash freeze' warning. FANTASTIC! Not. He's not quite as 'tolerant' of all things medical like his sister, so I have to bribe him a bit. This time it's with a trip to the fish store. Much to my chagrin, I'm giving into a Valentine's Day 'gift' for the family. A new, bigger aquarium for the basement. Teen asked me what I got for her Dad. I had to explain that her Dad and I aren't really into this holiday. She doesn't get it, and quite frankly, I think she's kind of upset at me for it. My other half and I exchanged looks. Mine was a desperate plea for him to step up and help me out with this whole conversation. His was the sultry-eyed "I know that I'll get my Valentine's gift later" look. Great. Thanks for the help pal. I mean, chances are that at some point in the near future (or even recent past - although definitely NOT last night) he will get (or had) the after-the-kids-go-to-bed gift, but I can't tell her *THAT* (again, back to the scarring her for life thing). Then Imp and Banshee start in on me about it. Funny . . . they don't ask HIM about it. SO, again, I look like the 'bad guy'.

The truth is, years ago, I DID get wrapped up in these holidays. I took them as a 'fun' day and embraced it. Then I met and got together with my other half. He didn't embrace it at all. Or birthdays. Or any other significant date. I admit, I was hurt when on our 'first' Valentines Day, he ditched me to go out with friends. He had commented on us going out to do something, and I guess I read too much into it, and allowed myself to get hurt by it. The entire weekend passed without so much as a phone call from him. He never, ever mentioned it. I tossed the card I had for him and returned the gift I'd bought. Then my birthday followed a few days later. Same thing. Nothing. Part of me told myself over and over that I needed to run from him as fast as I could, but I didn't. Or couldn't. I liked him. Enough to endure many more forgotten Valentine's Days and Birthdays. And now anniversary's. For whatever reason, he can't even remember our anniversary date. It took almost 10 years for me to finally get over the 'hurt' that I would feel as the days would lead up to Valentine's Day and the aftermath of those feelings as I listened to others 'gush' about what they did for/with their Valentines. Admittedly, I always bought a gift and made a card for him, but never did give them to him . . . in the end, I'd just unwrap it and save it for his birthday or Christmas. But I DID get over it. I realized that it's not personal . . . it's just not his thing. Not at all. So, eventually, it became less and less my thing, and thus, my 'dislike' of Valentine's Day was formed. I DO need to point out that he doesn't do it to be disrespectful or hurtful, he simply doesn't have the ability to 'remember' these events, or has some sort of mental block about it. BUT . . . I *AM* past it. For the record, Christmas and birthdays ROCK for me now . . . I buy my own gifts, and give them to him to wrap up and give to me. It's all good.

SO . . here we are. Valentine's Day is upon us. Although I'm not into the commercialized aspect of it, I DO feed into it for the sake of my kids. I like to do things for and with them, and this is something they like. I'll likely head out to find some sort of 'fun' little treat for them, and will likely grab something for dinner as I fly (or slip!) back into town this evening that we can sit and eat at the coffee table (eating away from the table is a HUGE and rare event for our family). I will buy my son's forgiveness for his medical appointment this afternoon with a new fish tank for the family (and likely a new fish for HIS tank).

And me?! And him?! Yeah, you know that he'll be trying to send the Teen to bed early tonight.

HAPPY VALENTINE'S EVERYONE!!!!