The Tumor on my face.

From the time hormones kicked in, I've been VERY fortunate and lucky in the sense that I have NEVER had an issue with acne. For me, a life stopping 'break out' of astronomical proportions would have meant that I had *gasp* 3 or 4 zits all at the same time. While at the time it was earth shattering and life ruining to see even a single zit appear; I mean, come on, they were like having a whole 'nother head growing on my face. They were huge; MASSIVE mountains that consumed my whole face and EVERYONE was talking about it. They were. For real. My mind construed it that way, so it is. Seriously. BUT, I did know that I had it SO SO SO easy compared to others who had true acne issues. My solitary little zits were easily hidden by my cool 80's feathered bangs (I was stylin' in the 80's) or by a smidge of concealer.

As an adult during my childbearing years, I've been equally blessed in terms of acne. I could probably count on my fingers how many zits I get a year. I do count my lucky stars for that. Although my teen is still relatively young, I've noticed that she seems to be following in my footsteps in terms of zits as well . . . she very rarely gets them. I'm keeping everything crossed that it remains that way.

SO . . . the other day I felt that all-too-familiar tender spot forming up at the bridge of my nose; right where my glasses sit. Eventually a little white head appeared, and in true me-style, I popped that sucker (I can't STAND the look of white heads - blech!). And that left it a red swollen mess. Although I know everyone gets zits here and there, I admit, I AM self-concious when I get them; particularly when they're right there in the middle of face. We sat at the table for lunch the day that I'd popped it, and for whatever reason, Teen felt compelled to inform me that I had a zit on my face; you know, as if I didn't already know it or something, or that it was a gigantic tumor, or that it was some MAJOR catastrophic event. I just kind of looked at her and gave a sarcastic "THANKS". But she didn't relent. She continued on, telling me that maybe I should wash my face a bit better, or that I should drop my lunch and run right upstairs to put concealer on it. At that point, my other half intervenes and tells her to lay off and leave it alone. But SHE still carried on, asking if I wanted others to see it, or what others would think. Really?! She's THAT vain?! My other half informs her that I have no one to impress - because I'd already hooked him (it was a very sweet moment - even though every kid at the table felt the strong need to vomit at that statement). Then, in an attempt to curb the direction of this conversation, Teen says, "well, what about the mailman". To which I burst out laughing - because I KNOW the mailguy, and well, let's just say, he isn't my type. Not. At. All. Now, if we were talking Shemar Moore (*THE* eye candy from Criminal Minds) or Christopher Meloni (*THE* eye candy from L&O: SVU), then SURE, that's a whole different kettle of fish and of COURSE I'd have arranged instantly to have plastic surgery to remove that zit the second I felt it starting. Actually, not really. Not even for them.

So . . . I carried on with my day, zit showing and all.

I had all but forgotten about it again, until Teen comes and tracks me down. Her, her friend and Banshee had been watching TV and a commercial for Proactive comes on. Banshee apparently watched this commercial VERY intently and then informed Teen and TeenFriend that maybe Mommy should get some of that stuff - you know, to help with the zit problem I had.

I called her on it (just in a joking way), and she was dead serious. I'm certain that had she had a credit card, she would have picked up that phone and ordered me the entire collection. She also made a suggestion about someone else we know needing it too . . . but I quickly pointed out to her that others might not find it nearly as 'funny' as we did, and that comments like that are best kept to ourselves. I pointed out that my zit was a single little pimple that I rarely got, but she quickly pointed out that it was 'gross'.

Fantastic. I pointed out to her that she would likely get zits in the upcoming years. Her answer to that? "Nope - not me. Because I'm going to use Proactive EVERY SINGLE DAY". I think that I just might have the future spokeswoman for Proactive living right here under my roof.

OYE!

Through it all, Imp was my ally. Well, until he was laying on the bed beside me and could see it up close and personal. He took a good look at it, then quickly jumped off the bed. When I asked what was going on, he informed me that my "disgusting pimple" was making him sick. He came back armed with a bandaid so I could hide it. You know, because a great big brown bandaid in the middle of my face is FAR more less distracting than a freakin' zit.

For the record, I'm pleased to say that my face if returning to normal after my "HUGE" single-zitted outbreak. The danger has all passed . . . so you can all return to normal programming now.

And me?! Well, I'm hold with my therapist . . . I think I need some counselling after that ordeal.