Back to School 2015

School. There. I said it. In our house, that is somewhat of a swear word - right up there with the likes of snow and dental surgery. School starts tomorrow here in the Arctic Tundra (although the Arctic tundra is anything but cold...it's more along the lines of a hot and humid day at Disney World (seriously - have you ever been to Disney in the summer months? I swear that it is EXACTLY what Hell would feel like). This academic year is full of changes for our family again. Teen took another huge step towards independent adulthood and cut the apron string a whole lot more (Oh, my Momma heart!) by moving into an apartment this past week, and is ready to roll for her second year of university. Banshee is returning to the same school for the extended french program - she is excited and dying to know who her new teacher is, and has been fervently praying to the educational powers that be to be in the same class as her little posse of friends. MOH even has a change this year; he is teaching the first ever Rugby class offered at his school (along with the same old gym and math classes he usually teaches). Imp is the one facing the most changes. Change isn't easy for him, so this is an anxious and challenging time for us. Because of the move, we have no choice but to change schools for him. We simply can't handle the logistics of transporting him back and forth to the school he's always known. The hope? reality is, he's moving to a great school with great resources and programming. We know he'll be fine - it's just the adjustment to the change - and we're ready for it. We'll support him and help him as much as we can.

For many parents, this is considered the "Most Wonderful Time of the Year". For us - it's more of a hellish necessity or legal parenting requirement. First and foremost, it means that summer has officially come to an end, and that makes us cranky and sad. We are NOT looking forward to the winter months. In the past couple of weeks, we have dropped a shit-ton of cash on a ridiculous list of purchased school supplies as requested by the school. I swear that the schools must get kick-backs from Staples and Walmart because they ask for such insane amounts and specific items. And the clothes and shoes. OMG, the shoes. Banshee is a true girl - clothes and shoes are her thing. She agonizes over what to buy, and in the end, she has to painstakingly choose between 3 or 4 different items, and then I hear about it for weeks as she waffles back and forth about how she thinks she's made the wrong decisions. Over clothes and shoes. For real. Imp? Shoe and clothes are NOT his thing. Asking him to go shopping is like asking him to voluntarily have dental surgery without freezing and being stoned (and believe me, he's had dental work, and it involves the wacky gas because he has an inherent fear of needles and such). I have to drag him out shopping. It's painful for ALL parties involved.

Next, the kids will have to go to bed at a reasonable time, WOOHOO! which makes us sad, and it also means that we have to drag their cranky, sleepy arses out of bed every single morning we have to rouse our little rays of sunshine before 10:00am. No more fires in the pit every night as we watch the bats fly overhead and make s'mores or weiney octopus bed time snacks. School mornings are like our own personal piece of hell every single morning stressful. We are constantly reminding people to get out of bed, to brush their teeth, to eat breakfast, to brush their teeth, to get dressed, to brush their teeth, to get their lunches ready, to brush their teeth, to get their stuff organized, to brush their teeth, to wash their faces, to put the electronics down, to brush their teeth, to leave the dog alone, to brush their teeth, to focus on the task at hand, and for the love of God, to BRUSH THEIR DAMN TEETH!!!! The teeth brushing battle is SO real in this house - HOLY CRAP!!!! I don't understand why they fight us on it. By the time I leave for the office in the morning, I've probably said the words, "BRUSH YOUR TEETH" about 50 times.

Then...there's the agenda. You know, the one that they write stuff in for the first couple of weeks, then it goes missing or comes home empty day after day, and we never know if there's any homework, tests or assignments - until you get a report card with a D on it at the end of the school year, but there's no explanation because the teachers are taking work action and the report card simply had the grades - with no comments (this was after the threat of not getting a report card at all - because apparently report cards aren't considered part of the normal part of teaching and school?!). BUT...I regress.

Then there's the homework (although we don't seem to get much of that - especially when Imp's agenda goes AWOL, and Banshee's comes home day after day unfilled (what a colossal waste of money these are)). And the extra-curricular activities. This year there's 4 nights of dance, plus the odd weekend, and basketball. And the birthday parties. And the sleepovers. And the "play dates", although I think if I used the term play date in front of almost 11 yo Banshee and 12 yo Imp, it would illicit a strange look (although I'm certain we've reached the "my parents are so dumb stage" already). I guess the term would be, "hang outs"? Regardless, there are many - and we are running constantly. You know, because that's what we do on our 'free time' - run about with the kids. I surely wouldn't ever want to be able to do anything for myself. Actually - I truly don't mind running with the kids. The time where they "NEED" us is so limited, and before I know it, all 3 of them will be out of the house, and I'll have all the time in the world. I enjoy watching their activities and seeing them grow and flourish with their relationships.

THEN...F*CKING delightful lunches. My favourite thing with the picky eaters I've spawned. If it isn't pizza, nachos and burgers, then Imp isn't eating it. If it isn't "fun", Banshee isn't eating it. And of course they don't like anything the other likes, so, it's a struggle. I spend great amounts of time picking their brains to get ideas of what to pack, and I spend insane amounts of money on the things they request, but day in, day out, their lunches travel back and forth with them basically fully in tact. Neither of them (and Teen as well when she was in elementary school) eat anything. Often times, there is nothing but the drink gone. They either talk a whole lot, or just look at their food, although I suspect it's the prior. My kids talk. A LOT. I have NO idea where they get that from (as I walk away whistling innocently). At least the racoons and skunks that raid our green bin every night get good meals, right? I live for pizza day - it's the best $4 I spend every week!!!

SO...today we prepare for the next 10 painful months of educating our children. When we get the official calendar tomorrow night, we will ceremoniously mark the PD and holiday breaks on the calendar, and we will all try to adjust to the school routine. For now, Banshee is painstakingly trying to figure out what she's going to wear, while Imp stresses over his new school and such, MOH is worried about Imp's adjustment as well - and me? Right now, I'm stressing over the damn lunches - although as night falls, I know that I'll lose much sleep over Imp and his new experience... And I worry about Teen and her freedom, responsibilities, and the fact that she's so far away. This is truly that moment where as parents, we have to trust that we've taught her well and given her the tools she needs to survive on her own. I also pray with all my heart that she actually remembers why she's there - SCHOOL!

I don't love back to school. I truly don't. It totally infringes on life, and brings forth so many changes But it also gives them the knowledge they need to know to be successful in life, because we all know that life isn't always going to be cottage and beach days followed by fires and s'mores and card games, but we can certainly enjoy it while we can, right?

Here's hoping that the 2015/2016 academic year is a fantastic one!! Good luck to all the students - young and old (because my courses will start soon too!).